I know that I am not the only woman in the world who has a problem with in-laws. Although, I don’t exactly have in-laws yet. I have been dating the same man for 2 and a half years now, so you can imagine that I’ve had to deal with his parents more often than not.
WL’s parents are some of the most possessive, over-protective, annoying people I have ever met in my life. WL is 22 and does not have control of his savings account, is told not to do things by his mother because it’s “too dangerous”, and is told to go to bed at certain times.
For right now he’s at home. It’s summer and we’re still in school so it only makes sense to stay home. Of course when one is in their parents home there are rules. But after the age of 18 one is to be treated as an adult, because technically that is what one is.
But no. With WL’s family, this is not the case. If he doesn’t call home every night his mother gets mad. For the last semester he was going to school no more than 20 minutes from home. Does anyone see something wrong with this? Maybe it’s only me because I’ve seen how they are.
I went to visit WL recently and he wanted to pick me up by himself. This is not an odd request. Let me remind you he’s 22. His parents argued with him because according to his father, where WL was picking me up from is one of the most dangerous places he’s been to. Let me assure you, it no different than going to any other highly populated area. This argument was brought up in conversation for the next 3 days. They couldn’t drop it. I believe the argument happened simply because they don’t want us being alone. If you knew them you’d probably agree.
See, ever since WL and I are started dating I have let him know that how his parents treat him is wrong. Not wrong in the sense that they love him and want what’s best for him, but wrong that they control him and treat him like he’s 10. WL has slowly realized how over-baring his parents are, and he has chosen to do things he wants to do, say what he thinks, etc. Don’t you know that it back-fired? Of course it ends up being my fault that he’s changed (which some of it was me), but the majority of it was WL growing up and seeing that he’s capable of doing things on his own.
As someone who grew up with parents that wanted me to do what I wanted to do, to be independent and learn to do what I thought was right for me, I have never been able to understand WL’s parents. His father is someone who seems to be attempting to live through his son, and his mother is attempting to keep him a baby, since his older sister never allowed his mother to baby her. The things I’ve heard them call him, the stories he’s told me. Someone of it is just unbelievable.
WL’s parents have caused more problems in our relationship than anything. We have argued, almost broken up, and cried more times than I can count, all because of his parents. This scares me because we do plan to get married. If we already have all of these problems, what will it be like when we’re married?
Both my grandmother and mother’s husbands had parents just like WL’s. It seems to be a curse. Their in-laws never went away. I don’t exactly know what to do. WL doesn’t want to live near his parents when we finally move out of our parent’s homes. But there’s always phone’s and email for them to find a way to keep him within their reach.
I apologize to any mother’s that read this. I know that your children will always be your children. You will love them forever and always look out for their well-being. However, there is a point in time when you need to let them grow up. No, I’m not a mother yet, so I don’t quite understand, but when my mother says that there’s something wrong with how WL’s parents treat him, there’s something wrong. Both my parents and grandmother know how WL’s parents are toward him, and they would like to adopt him simply to get him out of their home. Sounds like there’s something wrong doesn’t it?
Marriage doesn’t sound so appealing when in-laws are involved.
